Dear the rest of the world
Most Americans didn't vote for this hideous, racist, incredibly stupid, obstinate, *expletive deleted*, unbelievable jackass.
We are SO SORRY that he got elected anyway. We have a very stupid system and we really, really need to kill the electoral college.
Please don't judge our country by this hideous orange terrible, terrible person's behavior.
We'll fix this. We promise.
Just hang in there until then. Please.
We're really, really sorry.
Most of us.